After the excitement of the engagement has passed and it is time to begin planning the wedding, the first task is typically to create a guest list. This is often one of the most stressful, challenging, and contentious elements of planning a wedding. It’s like trying to fit your entire life into a tiny house. You want an intimate wedding, you’re concerned about space at the venues you are considering and blowing the budget, yet you don’t want to leave out anyone important. We understand!
Cutting down a guest list means making hard decisions and possibly disagreeing with parents and other family members. A smaller guest list means more quality time with each guest, or being able to fit in the venue of your dreams or having additional budget to put toward that incredible band you would like to hire.
First things first, write down your non-negotiables. These are the people you can’t imagine saying “I DO” without. This includes immediate family, wedding party and your ride-or-die friends. Next, think about the people that after a long absence, you can call and pick up the conversation from the last phone call. Regarding plus ones, we recommend using this simple rule: if you haven’t met them, or if they have not been dating your guest for very long, it’s okay to skip the invite. It’s a wedding not a networking event! Do not feel you need to invite all work colleagues. Consider inviting only those that you interact with daily or do things with outside of the office.
Be open and honest with your family and friends about your desire to have an intimate wedding and the need to curtail your guest list. Most people will understand and respect your decision. However, be prepared for some pushback from family. It’s okay to explain your vision and gently stand your ground. Once you’ve set some rules like no kids or no distant cousins or relatives stick to them. Consistency prevents hurt feeling and makes decisions easier to explain.
If needed, create a B-list. Once someone from the A-list declines you can invite guests from the B-list. Just remember NOT to send B-list guests a save the date and be mindful of giving them enough time to respond to the invitation.
Navigating the guest list can be a bit like walking a tightrope, but remember it is you day, your rules. Still have questions or not sure how to handle an overbearing family member that doesn’t get it? We’ve helped other clients with this dilemma and would love to help you too. Connect with us for some instant relief for this pain point.
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